Hey guys, my son is 9 months and t my husband and I have started talking about if/when we should start working on adding to the family… I was wondering what the spacing between kids looks like and what the benefit/difficulty to different spacing is. I thought I’d be one and done after a pretty rough road to get our son here but lately I’ve felt like our family is supposed to have at least a couple more people in it. Let me know what you think the best space between kids is or what you would do if you were doing it again!
THIS IS A GOOD QUESTION!!! I think about it often. I feel like there is a tradeoff- have kids close together and (hopefully) theyll be good friends, do activites together, go through phases together, easier to track hand-me-downs, and from a parents perspective get the baby/no sleep phase of life done with. I think there are a lot of pros to having kids close together, but the trade off comes at the cost of more stress to the parents for a period of time.
Here is a video I found w a decent breakdown of the pros/cons of different timelines Ideal Sibling Age Gap - Pros & Cons! | Allison's Journey - YouTube
My oldest two are 15 months apart and when they were babies they definitely had some learning on how to play and communicate with each other. Now they are 11 and 10. They are so incredibly close and joined at the hip. Now I also have a 8 month old who is getting amazing one on one time with each sibling. Her brother, my 10 yr old, is very careful with her. Her sister, my 11 yr old, helps our so so much. So does the massive age worry me, it did while I was pregnant but slowly my fears are easing up a lot. But do your research on the best age gap but also talk with your partner and doctor. As long as your body can handle the next pregnancy, just don’t overly stress if they are outside the “recommended” age gap.
My kids are 3.5 years apart, and for us it is definitely the ideal age gap! My daughter got out of diapers completely a few months before my son was born, so I only had to buy diapers for 1 when he came along, which was helpful financially. And my daughter was old enough to start wanting to be more independent! She would do things for herself and even wanted to help with baby brother! She was so helpful and it created a strong bond with her new brother as well. And now they are 5 and 1 &1/2 and they play so well together and absolutely adore each other! I’m done having kids but if I were to have another I would try to have this same age gap!
This is a personal decision and what works for one family may not work for another. Keeping that in mind, I’d have a second when they are both in diapers. Once you get out of that diaper phase, it’s hard to go back. speaking from experience
Very true!! Just depends on the couple. Some needs more time in between kiddos and that’s okay
I think about this a lot! I always wanted kids close in age, about 2-3 years apart. When my son turned 2, my ex and I split up and divorced when he was 3. I have been so hard on myself for not giving my son a sibling close in age and now he’s to the point where he’s mentioned wanting a baby sibling a number of times. He’s almost 5 and I hate that he doesn’t have a sibling close in age and worry that he won’t have the relationship I have with my sisters, especially sharing his time with us when future kids would be with my boyfriend and I full-time. I never want him to feel like an outcast!! I even thought maybe i wouldn’t have more kids so he would never feel that way. I stress about this a lot
My girls are over 4.5 years apart and it works really well for us. It was difficult to go back to diapers and crazy sleep schedules after having a 4.5 year old but they are the best little friends. My oldest needs to be reminded that she isn’t a parent but she loves to help. Don’t get me wrong they get on each other’s nerves, but most days I am surprised at how great their relationship is. They are almost 4 and 8.5 right now.
I don’t think there is a magic number - whether they are close together or far apart. The entire family dynamic is far more important and making each child know they are loved is going to have more of an impact than how far apart you space them.
Our son was 2.5 when our daughter was born and it was perfect for us. We have been really blessed by how much they actually play together and for the most part get along. And being 2 and 4 there is a lot of crossover with the toys they are playing with together.
I think it just depends on what works for you and your family because there’s pros/cons either way.
I’m expecting my second child who will be 8 years apart from my first, both girls. I was worried about the age gap but have heard positive stories of sisters still having a strong bond despite the age gap. We waited so long because I had a tough first pregnancy and struggled, breastfeeding and sleep took a toll and I couldn’t do back to back pregnancies. I think it will be nice to have an older child to help me with the baby and help teach her things. I’m excited to see how they bond!
I only have one sibling, a brother 9 years older, and we weren’t that close growing up but as adults it’s been nice having a sibling to help with parents especially as they get older and need medical assistance, I’m not having to go through it by myself.
I feel it’s personal preference. My first two are 22 months apart and my third there’s a little gap. Some have kiddos close together and some wait. I truly think it’s different for each family and situation.